Thursday, January 13, 2011

You're not who you think you are.... the zodiac dates have all changed!

Just when you start to feel settled in your old age. After years of relying on your daily horoscope for all the important decisions in your life. After years of reading your personality profile based on your zodiac sign and saying, "Wow, there must be something to this astrology thing. That is EXACTLY what I (my spouse, friend, etc.) am like!"

Well, in case you missed the latest breaking news from the Minnesota Planetarium Society - astronomers have now realized they are about 10 degrees off. How big is that - well, in astronomy terms, 10 degrees is a big deal. Remember Apollo 13? If they were only off by a degree or so on the approach to earth, they would either bounce off the atmosphere or burn to a cinder. So, crap - 10 degrees means we are all doomed. What's next? I suppose someone is going to say that the world *won't* end in late 2012, but now actually ended when Wayne Newton was embalmed while still alive - I'm not sure exactly when that happened, but I know it was a while ago.

To alleviate the suspense, and start you down your new astrological road - here are the NEW dates:

Capricorn: Jan. 20-Feb. 16.
Aquarius: Feb. 16-March 11.
Pisces: March 11-April 18.
Aries: April 18-May 13.
Taurus: May 13-June 21.
Gemini: June 21-July 20.
Cancer: July 20-Aug. 10.
Leo: Aug. 10-Sept. 16.
Virgo: Sept. 16-Oct. 30.
Libra: Oct. 30-Nov. 23.
Scorpio: Nov. 23-29.
Ophiuchus: Nov. 29-Dec. 17.
Sagittarius: Dec. 17-Jan. 20.

Instead of being a Libra, I'm now a Virgo. I just finished reading the personality traits of Virgo and WOW - there must be something to this astrology thing, because it is EXACTLY ME!! Amazing..

Here's the article: 
http://newsfeed.time.com/2011/01/13/horoscope-hang-up-earth-rotation-changes-zodiac-signs/
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2 comments:

  1. EricJanuary 13, 2011 at 8:54 AM

    So, does that mean that Men are now from Pluto, and Women from Tritan? Did you check this out on Snopes? And, who is this guy Ophiuchus and how on Earth do you pronounce that without sounding obcene? Nonetheless, I am still the son of Tom, Grandson of Edmund and Stanislaus, and Great Grandson of Adam and Eva, and Peter and Lucille...or has than now changed as well? Where's my Old Hickory when I need it?

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  2. MeemsJanuary 15, 2011 at 8:53 AM

    WHAT?!?!?!?!?!?! Crap!!!! Now I have to start reading stuff all over. Where did this "other" guy come from? I thought I could rely on the scientific community since the religious community is usually so screwed up---now I am doooooooomed!!!!!!!!

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