'Tis the Season

Although it is much too early to be switching on the Christmas lights and putting out cookies for the fat boy.... as well as Santa....now is the perfectly appropriate time to get your Festivus Pole.

Reusable like those pipe-cleaner looking, formaldehyde out-gassing artificial trees - the Festivus Pole needs no decorating (Frank Costanza once pointed out how he finds tinsel 'distracting') nor cleaning (it's aluminum... it doesn't rust... well, technically aluminum does 'rust', but it's oxidation layer is clear and therefore.........) *THUMP*

Sorry, I'm back now. Paige just rapped me on the head with our (non-oxidizing) Festivus pole and I was unconscious for a tick.

However - as with all holiday decorating; comes safety. Just as you don't light your tree with candles anymore - well, except after the holiday when the dried out arbor carcass has aged to the flash point of super-heated jet fuel making it pretty cool to ignite in the backyard by lighting it with candles... until the fascist police show up and... "Neighborhood Association rules".. blah blah.... "felony arson charges"... yada yada.... *THUMP*.......

As I was saying, be sure to follow the simple rules of the manufacturer to ensure a safe Festivus season.

I especially advocate the warning to 'NOT' dance from the Festivus pole - which I think given the country's obesity ratio, probably makes good sense overall, even if you have secured it to the ceiling - and who really wants to see a squishy, non-professional hanging up-side down on an aluminum pole anyway?

It's just not cricket.

All this precautionary nonsense of course goes out the window if you are indeed the Most Interesting Man in the World - who lives by the motto; "Safety Third"

"Stay thirsty my friends."

HAPPY FESTIVUS

A HOLIDAY FOR THE REST OF US!